My better half has cooked me Christmas Dinner for the past 50 years; less a few in the early years where we had Christmas day down my parents house. This year it was decided that I would do the job.

The menu was to be a starter of prawn and fruit cocktail, followed by a marmalade glazed roast pork, cooked along side apple, carrots and onions; roast potato’s, peas and fried brussels sprouts and bacon.

The first problem was that we couldn’t find the prawns; then we realised we had already used them – fortunately there was a packet of (small) scallops in the freezer so the starter became scallops cooked in butter sitting on a bed of wilted spinach.

So my day went like this:

• Up with the sun (which, given it was cloudy and dark, was around 09:30);
• After a leisurely cup of tea (Gunfire*); cook eggs benedict for brunch;
• Clean up;
• Set up and attend the family Teams get together;
• Sherry;
• Prep the dinner;
• Red Wine;
• A wee (three fingers) dram;
• Listen to The Queens Speech;
• Start cooking;
• Eat starter –  Red Wine;
• Clean up starter and finish cooking;
• Eat dinner – more Red Wine;
• Clean up;
• Collapse in chair with a glass of Port – nothing to do with the alcohol mind; just the bloody hard work.

Lessons learnt: How on earth do the ladies do this year after year, and not just on Christmas day. Ladies (and any Gents out there who do this regularly) I salute you.

Mind you, I’ve always said that, although I pride myself on having worked hard all my life, women work twice as hard; often holding down a full time job and at the same time doing the umpteen jobs involved in keeping a house running and making it a home.

Anyway I trust you all had the best Christmas possible in the circumstances – We did.

*This is a British Army tradition where the officers and sergeants wake the lower ranks with tea containing, for those that want it (and I’ve never known anyone refusing) a dram of whisky. (Note: this is Whisky not the other stuff, which has too many E’s, whiskey)