We took our first Lateral Flow test this week which resulted in a little amusement.

The first smile happened when I opened the package and saw the little slip of paper announcing that they were made in China.  If this were a Tom Clancy book there would be a paragraph laying out a part of the conspiracy using the thoughts of  Zhang Han San after having a conversation with one of his subordinates – Read Executive Orders followed by Rainbow Six to see the plot.

The second was not amusing when it happened, but bloody funny afterwards. For those who haven’t used the test you have to take a swab and twist it around against each tonsil four times, then push it up one of your nostrils and twist it around ten times. There is an instruction to blow your nose before doing this. I managed to do the tonsil part without gagging; the trick here is to make sure not to touch the dangly thing in the middle.    I then did the nostril part and I could feel it coming on; that tingly sensation that tells you that you are going to sneeze. I just managed to get the ten turns done and pull the swab out in time and then gave the biggest and loudest sneeze going, followed by several more; I think the people a couple of doors down heard it It didn’t help that the boss was laughing her head off.

Thirty minutes later the results showed negative. It is not a guarantee but a high likelihood of  not having the virus; in my book that is better than nothing and it gives you a sense of satisfaction if nothing else.

Stay safe folks